Although anyone can be bullied for just about anything, weight always seems to attract the attention of bullies. Tweens and teens who have a low weight, those who have obesity, and even those that have a healthy weight can be targeted. Often targeted because of the way they look, kids who are bullied because of how much they weigh or the way their bodies look often become dissatisfied with how they look. The end result is a body image problem.
Consequently, a negative body image can lead to low self-esteem, which in turn, leads to other problems. In fact, many people with negative body images struggle with eating disorders, depression, and may even engage in self-harming behaviors.
Body image has to do with how people think about their size and their shape and is an important part of identity. In fact, how a young person views their body directly relates to how they think about themself as a whole.
The Problem With Weight Teasing
For children with overweight, losing weight is not easy. But when you add in bullying, it becomes even more difficult. These kids can feel trapped, alone, and helpless to change their situations. What’s more, it is not just school bullies who are initiating weight teasing.
Studies have shown that the victim’s friends, teachers, coaches, and even their parents might participate. They use subtle forms of bullying or relational aggression to bully and tease. Or, they may use what is called a “license to comment.” In other words, they feel it is acceptable to make comments about the person’s weight. They also might comment on what they are eating, what they order in restaurants, their clothes, and how they spend their time.
Weight teasing also can create a vicious cycle where these kids begin to eat more to get rid of negative feelings. Then, they experience guilt and shame afterward, and the cycle repeats itself.
Most of the time, these weight-related comments sound like helpful hints. But in reality, the words are judgmental and critical, and kids get the message loud and clear. They feel bad about themselves and their bodies, which results in a negative body image.
There also is some evidence that children with overweight who are subjected to weight-related teasing are less likely to exercise. They are not being lazy. Instead, they fear that they will be made fun of during their activities. Or, they worry that others will judge or criticize how fast they can run or how many push-ups they can do.
What Can Be Done?
Most people think that the first step to dealing with weight-related bullying is to help a child lose weight (or gain weight, depending on the situation). But really, the child cannot focus on losing weight and getting healthy while dealing with cutting remarks and criticisms. As a result, the bullying and teasing has to stop first.
If you or other family members are making comments about your child’s weight, stop immediately. And, if the bullying is happening at school, it needs to be addressed right away. Make a commitment to report the bullying to the principal. Ask what they plan to do to keep your child emotionally safe at school. Meanwhile, you can help your child overcome bullying by encouraging them to reframe their thinking and focus what is good about who they are.
If your child has experienced weight-related bullying, focus on building acceptance for who they are instead of focusing on losing or gaining weight. Children need to be happy with who they are to recover from negative body image. Losing or gaining weight is secondary.
Once the bullying has been dealt with, you can begin by promoting healthy eating and exercise habits. In addition, you should help boost self-esteem and resilience by focusing on positive attributes and not on weight. Also, avoid congratulating your child on weight loss. Instead, encourage them to participate in activities that will build self-confidence and general fitness. And congratulate them on their success in those areas. Doing so will show your child that their worth is not tied up in their appearance.
